Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
