just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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