Sponge bath it is.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
