I can text with my tongue
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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