last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
