I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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