I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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