This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
