ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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