11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
