He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize