Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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