A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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