Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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