remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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