News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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