she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
