Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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