He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
