i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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