well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
