I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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