there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
