...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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