I feel like abortions should bother me more
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He did a backflip because drugs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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