Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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