There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
