Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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