I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
