A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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