Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
