We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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