That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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