Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
