I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
