Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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