I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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