Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
