stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
