I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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