During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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