I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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