I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I need moral support for this bender
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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