i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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