i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
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I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
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he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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