Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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