Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
