Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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