you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I've blown a few things in my day
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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