He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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