I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
