Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize