Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
sarcasm needs its own font
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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