I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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