Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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