Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
