OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She's the barista slut.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
