I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
