that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
