I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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